


Bridges

by kronette



Series: Circles in the Sand [3]
Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-06
Updated: 2014-03-06
Packaged: 2018-01-14 17:44:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1275325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kronette/pseuds/kronette
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Third of four stories centering around "Forever In A Day". Each story is told from a different character's POV. The third is Sam, who is helping to bury Daniel's wife.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bridges

I've been to far too many funerals in my day, but I have to admit, the Abydonian funeral rites are actually beautiful. Maybe it's the ceremony performed in Abydonian that I can't understand, or the simple beliefs that each of the people exude, but I'm relaxed. I never thought I'd be relaxed at a funeral. Those two words shouldn't go together. 

I had doubts about coming to Sha're's funeral. When General Hammond informed us of Daniel's parting words, I got a sick feeling in my gut. Arrive early for instructions? What did Daniel expect us to do? Then he explained the custom of each side of the family rolling the first sands onto the body and I relaxed. 

Again, that word. It's a terrible thing to think, but I was relieved I didn't have to say anything. Dad expected me to say something at mom's funeral, but I couldn't. He didn't understand the depth of my pain at her death. We talked about it weeks afterward, when I saw him crying. It was the first vulnerability I saw in his military-run life and I latched onto it like a lifeline. That brought us closer together, though we were never as close as mom and me. I know he followed my career with pride, but he always wanted something more for me. Well, dad, I've got it, and now so do you. 

The Abydonian chanting is growing louder, drawing my attention. I scan their faces, seeing the sadness mingled with hope there. Then my gaze falls to Daniel, who doesn't look very hopeful at all. He seems to be holding up well, all things considered. He's standing beside Kasuf, among Sha're's people and I can't help but think how he _fits_. Dressed in Abydonian clothes, I wouldn't be able to tell he was an alien to this world, except for the sunglasses covering his eyes. He belongs here just as much as he does back on Earth. He has an incredible ability to adapt to his surroundings; better than any soldier I've seen. But then he does something crazy, usually in defense of his friends, or someone who doesn't have the capability to defend themselves and gets in trouble. He's very passionate about equality and human rights. Maybe it's from his study of ancient cultures; he knows how tyranny and fear used to rule on Earth and he wants to save other people from that fear. He empathizes almost too much. He feels too much. Or maybe we don't feel enough. The military tries to train that out of you, but I refused to let them. I want to feel, even if it means sometimes, I have to grieve. 

As I gaze down at Sha're's shrouded body, sadness washes over me. Even now, it seems odd to think of Daniel married. His casual dismissal to his downright ignorance of women's advances was a source of joking among the rest of SG1, but sometimes we forgot he was married. It's a horrible thing to think at Sha're's funeral. Even with his wife light years away, Daniel remained determined to find her and bring her home. He's truly a remarkable man. Sha're was a lucky woman. 

My eyes fill with tears. Not lucky enough. Her luck ran out when Apophis and Teal'c visited this world. My eyes stray to Teal'c, standing slightly behind Kasuf and Daniel. Daniel explained that Teal'c was charged with watching over Sha're's body and he's been standing in the blazing sun the entire day. I know he's a man of strong beliefs and holds honor in the highest regard, but I think this might be beyond the call of duty. Though after talking to him, I know it's part of his make up. Teal'c doesn't see honor as a word; he sees it as a living, breathing thing that one has to work at to maintain. He told me he was only defending Daniel's honor when he punched Krenkowski. I knew their friendship was special; I just wish it didn't have such violent tendencies. They're both passionate men, so I guess it shouldn't come as a surprise that they would go to any length to protect the other. Daniel defended Teal'c, literally, at a trial, and Teal'c's saved Daniel's butt more times than I can count. There's a bond between them that I can't explain. Maybe it's because Daniel understands so many different cultures, which helps him understand the System Lords, which Teal'c has intimate knowledge of. Maybe it's both their hatred of intolerance. Maybe because they're good friends. 

As Daniel finishes and stands, the Abydonians raise their hands to the sky and call forth their god to welcome a place for Sha're. Daniel explained this, too, and I thought it was another beautiful aspect of the ceremony. Silence fell across the desert and Daniel signals it's time. Janet, myself and Jack lift the tarp from the sands and walk toward the grave. The sand makes little sound as it slips into the hole, which seems fitting, somehow. If Sha're is going to be at rest, her journey should start out quiet. 

The Abydonians are starting to leave, some speaking briefly to Kasuf, but most of them not saying anything to him or Daniel. Despite myself, I feel tears slip down my cheeks. Daniel's been like a big brother to me - I remember our conversation days ago, when he called me 'sis' - and though he's putting up a brave front now, I know he's hurting badly. I guess it wasn't in the Abydonian tradition to offer solace or comfort to the family of the deceased. Daniel's standing by himself now, looking down at Sha're's grave. Two Abydonians are completing filling in the hole and he flinches at each pile that's added. 

I glance to the Colonel, who's also staring at Daniel. I know things aren't right between them, but I'm willing to try to intervene on the Colonel's behalf. I told the Colonel as much, but he wasn't very supportive of my efforts. He told me he doesn't think Daniel will ever want to speak to him again. I know the two of them have had disagreements before, but none this serious. The Colonel said some pretty nasty things to Daniel, but Daniel hasn't heard the other side of it. He didn't hear the rumors; he only knew of their existence. 

The entire base was buzzing with Teal'c's assault on Krenkowski. I just so happened to be in the corridor when Krenkowski opened his big mouth and spouted off - deliberately raising his voice - about how aliens were corrupting Earth with their dirty ways, citing Teal'c's closeness with Daniel and Jack. He used some pretty foul language; stuff I hadn't heard since my academy days. The Colonel came up behind Teal'c just as Krenkowski got to the real 'juicy stuff', as he called it. Supposed acts that he had been witness to, reprimands that had been filed, ad nauseum. Teal'c explained to him that he was in error - understatement of the year - and warned that he should stop immediately. Krenkowski, bright man that he is, took a shove at Teal'c's chest...like that even affected him. Teal'c just stood there for a few seconds, then took a swing at him. Krenkowski went down hard, but at least had the sense to stay down. I don't know what would have happened if he'd gotten back up. He threatened a report to General Hammond, to get his alien ass kicked back through the Stargate and that's when the Colonel stepped in front of Teal'c. 

I've never seen Jack that furious before. His face was red and his knuckles white. I could tell he wanted to poke Krenkowski a new air passage or two. Instead, he towered over the idiot and said that if anyone was going on report, it would be him, due to intolerance and lack of brain cells. Personally, I would have stuck with the latter - more fire power there. Krenkowski's pals hauled him to his feet and dragged him off before security could be called. Teal'c refused to listen to the Colonel and went to report his actions to General Hammond. Which left Jack clenching and unclenching his fists, with no one to hit and nowhere to relieve his frustration. I couldn't let him stew like this, though, so I quietly asked if he wanted to talk. He said he wanted - badly - to punch something. He said it wasn't fair that Teal'c got to blow off steam while _he_ had to stand here and let his friends be insulted. I knew words wouldn't reach him in that state, so I told him it might be better if he hit the gym, where he could destroy a punching bag or two. That got a smirk. Krenkowski may never realize how very lucky he was that the Colonel didn't get a shot at him. Unfortunately, that wasn't the end of it.

My attention is drawn to movement. The grave is filled in and Daniel's looking pretty lost. The Abydonians have all wandered back to their lives, leaving the SGC members standing around. I start to walk over to him to offer my condolences and a shoulder to cry on, when Teal'c is suddenly at his side. I watch the two of them curiously. Teal'c's got his hand on Daniel's shoulder and they're talking in low tones. Daniel's shaking his head and Teal'c is getting more insistent. I wonder what they're arguing about. I'm surprised at the force in which Daniel jerks out from under Teal'c's hand and storms off without a backwards glance. 

My eyes snap to the Colonel, who's watching all this with hawk-like vision. I can see the confusion in his eyes, even from here and my resolve to interfere strengthens. My eyes meet Teal'c's and I walk over to join him. 

"What was that about?"

Teal'c's staring at the tent Daniel disappeared into. "Daniel does not wish to speak to O'Neill." 

That doesn't surprise me. When we arrived on Abydos, Daniel met us at the gate, but was very cool to the Colonel. He's still hurt by Jack's accusations. I can't say I blame him, but Daniel doesn't know the whole story. The only way he will is if he talks to Jack. Teal'c has his hands full, trying to bring Daniel around. I've had minimal luck with the Colonel, but he won't make the first move. It's time to bring in reinforcements. "And you were trying to persuade him otherwise?" 

"Yes." Teal'c looks down at me and I can see anger in his eyes. It takes a lot to get him angry. Intolerance is one way. Petty stubbornness is another. 

"You can't force Daniel to do something he doesn't want to do," I remind him gently. 

He looks again toward the tent. "I am discovering that, however he is hurting no one but himself in his refusal to speak to Colonel O'Neill." 

That's my cue. I offer without trying to sound too eager, "Want me to talk to him?" 

"I would be thankful for any assistance," he replies. 

I nod and walk toward the tent. "Daniel?" I call as I pull the tarp aside. He's sitting on some carpets on the ground, his concentration on the object in his hands. I doubt he senses that I'm there. He's lost in his own little world and I think it will take some effort to break through. I kneel by him, trying to let him know I'm here to listen if he wants. That's when I see wetness glistening on his cheeks. I don't think he realizes he's crying. I reach up to brush my hand across his forehead, trying to tame an errant lock of hair. It's useless. 

His softly spoken words sound like they're torn from his gut. "This is our wedding bowl. We both drank from it to seal our vows." 

I'm at a loss for words. I can't begin to imagine the confusion that's coursing through him. He's drawing strength from the man who killed his wife, but in doing so, set her free. The hope, no matter how small, that he could rescue Sha're, is gone. Memories stir; not mine, but Jolinar's, and maybe I can understand, a little bit, after all. I take a breath to compose myself. I place my hand over his and whisper, "You gave her a good life, Daniel. You loved her and honored her even though you were separated for a long time. She knew you loved her and she returned that love." 

He doesn't say anything; just sort of slowly leans toward me until he's resting his head on my lap. I smooth his hair like I did three days ago, when he collapsed after Amaunet's attack. He's trembling under my hands. I don't want to intrude on his grief, so I become a focal point for him, waiting for the worst to pass. I silently thank Jolinar for her help. She witnessed hundreds of people being taken by Goa'ulds and she mourned for them all. Some she killed herself, while others were killed by other Tok'ra. Better dead than a Goa'uld, they thought. I don't know if that's the correct attitude to have, but it did end some tyrannical overlords' reigns. I know Daniel hates the Goa'uld as much as anyone, but he doesn't let that hate consume him. Life's thrown him some nasty punches, the latest being Sha're's death, but he'll survive. That's what he does best. 

I find myself absently talking to him, babbling nonsense, but he doesn't notice. He's too wrapped up in his pain. I hope the sound of my voice gets through to him, even if the words don't make sense. He wouldn't want to hear them, anyway. They're about how brave I think he is. If Daniel did understand, he'd just brush me off in his self-depreciating way and that would be the end of it. But now, I get to tell him, to repay him for what he did for me when Jolinar died. 

I remember him coming to see me, but I was too wrapped up in my pain to acknowledge anyone. Days later, when he returned, I didn't remember to thank him for the flowers, or for sticking by me. By then, I accepted that Jolinar died to save me and that I could live with that. I vowed then and there to make her death mean something and I think I have. I'll continue to do so, just as I think he'll do for Sha're. We're both trying to make sense of a senseless death. 

His breathing is evening out and he's starting to pull himself together. He murmurs, "Thanks for coming, Sam. I'm glad my family was here." 

In spite of my military training, I flinch at that. I was the only one who saw Daniel's nightmare back on P7J-989, with the Gamekeeper. Teal'c and the Colonel arrived too late to see the agony on Daniel's face. He lost his parents at a very young age in a terrible accident. It didn't stop him from pursuing his parents' love of archaeology or become involved in one of the millennium's biggest discoveries with the Stargate. I'm honored that he considers us his family, even if we don't always behave like one. "You knew we would come." 

He abruptly sits up and fixes me with his wide-eyed stare. "I knew _you_ would come," he corrects me. 

That's an opening if I ever heard one and I jump at it. "Jack came because he knew you would need support from all your friends." 

He's up and pacing in true Daniel fashion. "Is he my friend? Aren't friends supposed to stand by you when you need them most?" 

"Yes," I agree as I stand up, but there's no stepping in front of him, here. "And the Colonel is here, now, when you need him most," I remind him, trying to get him to see what's important. 

"Well, excuse me for thinking I needed him back on Earth," Daniel snaps. "Does our friendship only work off-world, where the others can't see?" 

I'm quick to correct him. "That's not fair and you know it. The Colonel was dealing with extenuating circumstances, thrown at him from left field and he did the best he could. He was trying to protect you." If only Daniel could have heard the Colonel's anger at Krenkowski, this would be so much easier. 

He's gesturing at the tent entrance. "Everyone wanted to protect me, but no one wanted to talk to me about it. Jack wouldn't listen to reason. Teal'c meant well, but he doesn't understand the military's policy. And you..." The anger leaves his voice, replaced with sadness. He's looking straight at me as he says quietly, "You were the only one who was willing to listen to me. You understood." 

I suddenly realize just how isolated Daniel must have been. The Colonel wasn't in the most diplomatic mood when he confronted Daniel; I know that. He wanted answers and to try to understand in his own blunt way. I just didn't realize the extent that it hurt Daniel. I rethink my plan to break through to him. My mind drifts back over the hardships I had to overcome to get to Major; to be in a position of respect. I decide to tell him about my own struggles to fit into a male-dominated society. "I know what it's like to be the talk of the water coolers." That got his attention. "I'm a woman in the military. It took a lot to get through training and be accepted as someone to trust with their lives. But I did it and so did you. You know Teal'c trusts you. So do I. And so does the Colonel." 

"Right." He utters pure disbelief in that one word. 

The Colonel hit Daniel at his most vulnerable and I'm witnessing the results. I think I'm beginning to understand something. This is about a different form of trust. Daniel needed the Colonel to believe him; to _trust_ him that things weren't what they seemed. And that's exactly the opposite of what the Colonel did. Oh, did he read this wrong. I just hope the Colonel will be able to realize that before it's too late. I'll help as much as I can, but it's up to the Colonel to take that last step. "Daniel, the Colonel does trust you. He's trusted you with his life. There's no greater trust than that." 

Daniel suddenly looks all of ten years old, lost in a world that he doesn't feel he belongs to. "If Jack trusts me so much, why did he question me?"

He needs to be prepared for the Colonel's explanation, assuming I can get him to talk to the Colonel. "Daniel, you had most of the day to absorb what was being said about you. The Colonel literally walked into it with no warning. It was a shock and one he didn't handle well. He took his frustration out on you, which isn't fair. You didn't deserve it." 

He's suddenly standing a bit taller. "No, I didn't." 

"Do you want to give him a piece of your mind?" I ask hopefully. Even a fight will get them two talking. I'm not above using anger to get them together. 

He slumps again. "He'd just pick it apart." 

Damn, just when I think I'm making progress, he falls back. I'm determined now. "You need to talk to the Colonel. He's worried about you." 

His eyes flick to the entrance. "Not so worried that he comes looking for me." 

I reach out and squeeze his hand, letting him know he's not alone. "He's afraid of hurting you more. You know how he is; he won't make the first move. You're going to have to be the brave one and initiate..." 

He jerks his hand out of mine. "Why do I have to be brave?" he questions sharply. "For once, why can't I huddle in a corner, afraid, and refuse to let anyone in?" he cries. 

I won't give up, not when I'm this close. I'm breaking through or else he wouldn't be so defensive. "Because that's not the kind of person you are. You're our conscience, Daniel. When the Colonel wants to step on a new world with guns blazing, you're the one who reminds us that there are people on those planets. That just because a culture is different, doesn't automatically make it a threat. We need our conscience back, Daniel." I encourage him one last time. "Please, talk to Jack." 

His shoulders slump in defeat, but I don't feel a sense of triumph at having gotten through to him. My stomach flutters. "Do you want me to send the Colonel in here?" I ask softly. 

He's quiet for a long time. He meets my gaze, but I can't read him. His eyes only stay on mine for a second, then he's walking past me out of the tent. I follow him, too curious as to his intentions. He scans the few people remaining, finally locating the Colonel. I follow a few steps behind him as he walks over to Jack. 

"Daniel." The Colonel's voice is neutral, but he's alert to any non-verbal cues. His eyes flick to mine and I send him an encouraging nod. I hope he understands. 

Daniel's staring at the ground and the Colonel is staring at Daniel. Tension grows between the two of them until Daniel finally looks up says, "I heard you wanted to talk to me." 

The Colonel doesn't say anything, just nods. He's a very proud, stubborn man and I know how much this is costing him. 

Daniel nods in answer, then turns and heads back to the tent. The Colonel starts to follow and as he passes me, he mouths 'thank you'. I smile and nod in return, glad I could get them talking. Now it's up to them to mend fences. 

Teal'c's voice at my side startles me. "You have accomplished what I could not." 

"I have them talking. They've still got a long way to go," I warn him. 

I feel Teal'c's hand on my shoulder. "It is a start, Major Carter." His touch is comforting, as are his words. 

A start. Let's hope it's enough.

**Author's Note:**

> My earliest draft of these stories is dated July 2000. The last time I looked at them was 2004. Having reread them, I don't see why I didn't think of them as done.


End file.
